win or lose?

"You don't know what you've got till it's gone." a quote many know. this could mean anything; a person, place, or thing. so far, the most important one to me is the personn part. i think i have a problem. I believe that i'm really good at making friends, but i'm really bad at keeping them. I've been in college for some time now and i've met plenty of people. most i can consider my friends (at least i like to think so..lol), but it's the ones that i like to pull in close that are the problem. I don't really know what it is, but when i start to get really close to anyone, i end up losing them to something really stupid. maybe it's because i'm really honest about things, even though i try really hard to be nice about it. I mean, i don't go around telling people that they're ugly and stupid (even if i really want to...j/k).
I guess the worst part is feeling like i don't care. after putting in the time and effort of the friendship and letting it go just like that, makes me feel like...i don't know how that makes me feel...*humph*. Where do i find that answer? maybe someone will say, "you'll find it in your heart", pfft...how cliche? after the "fall apart" i wonder if i really lost something that i needed, or if i made the right decision to not care.
what is it like to not feel drama? i think i might have felt that for probably about a month after i broke up with my last girlfriend, but then something else had to come up and let drama just bite me in the butt again...ugh.
now, drama just gets worse! i mean, you think you know someone and then when you think you've got it right...BAMM!!! they do a total 180 on you and just like that...another friendship gone with the wind. I think i've had too many of these experiences. and though i know that others have it worse than i do, i still think it sucks!!
WHEN WILL THE DRAMA END? i'll let you know when/if it does.

thanks for listening,
Bruce